Dads UNI- Imparting

One of the most wonderful things a father can do in life is to bestow a blessing upon his children. We all have a blessing to give, whether it’s a kind word, an encouraging smile or something that can be defined as a spiritual endowment. We can only give to others that which we have ourselves, and so it is with our blessing, as a father we have the ability to share a part of our life with our child. As we conclude our short series on the foundational principles of our Dadsuni organisation that are found within our acronym UNI, we arrive at the final word Imparting.

Dads UNI is based upon the three foundational precepts of Understanding, Nurturing and Imparting. These three areas address the needs of the mind, the emotions and the spirit of man and seek to bring them into a position where they can receive the fullness of God’s blessing and abundant life.

Dads UNI – Imparting

impart

verb

• To make known. (information)

to communicate, to pass on or convey, to disseminate or circulate

• To bestow (a quality)

to give, to confer, to grant, to bestow, to provide, to supply or contribute

As a father we have all received authority from God our Heavenly Father. Our authority is to be the head of our home and the person most responsible before God for the raising of our children. Although in modern times many men seem to have delegated much of their parental responsibilities to their wife, this is a short-sighted solution that is destined to failure. Children need their father to be fully involved in every area of their life if they are to prosper and mature physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

The spiritual blessing that fathers have to give their children is powerful and has far-reaching effects in their children’s lives. Like the roots that spread out from a tree, so a father’s blessing reaches far beyond the initial impartation. What follows is a short list of some of the most common ways a father can impart a blessing to his children.

Baby Dedication

Matthew 19:14  But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

One of the most traditional opportunities that fathers have to impart a blessing to their child is through baby dedication. In baby dedication a child is presented before God for His blessing and God is petitioned to watch over and protect the life of the child. The parents are often requested also to make a commitment before God to bring the child up in the fear and love of God, and the child is either prayed over by the minister and parents or in some churches the child receives a baptism of water. Whatever the process in your particular church the important thing is that it is done, because having God Himself watching over and protecting your child is incredibly powerful.

Fathers should take advantage of this wonderful time to begin the process of imparting spiritual blessing to their child by dedicating them to the Lord as a baby. This is often the first in a marvellous series of opportunities we have to strengthen our bond with our child through connecting spiritually with our Heavenly Father and His blessing.

Reading Bible Stories

Psalm 78:3-4  Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done.

The bible is filled with amazing stories of how God has moved powerfully in the lives of real people like ourselves in times past. As we as their father read these stories to our children their hearts are opened up to the impartation of faith, which comes by hearing God’s word. The miracles in the bible are meant to be retold from generation to generation so that each new era in history has an opportunity to rise up and see God’s hand move in their times as well.

Reading the Bible stories to our  children reinforces our beliefs, standards and values in their young hearts and inspires them to live a life that will bring honour to themselves and their family.

Praying For Our Child

Numbers 6:23-26  “Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, ‘This is the way you shall bless the children of Israel. Say to them: “The Lord bless you and keep you, The Lord make His face shine upon you, and be gracious to you;  The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, and give you peace.”’

It is a fathers role to be the protector of the family, and one of the most important ways to safeguard our marriage and children is through the vehicle of believing prayer. God has stated that if you come to Him in humility and ask for His forgiveness and His help that He will indeed begin to move in your life, and to watch over you and your family as you pray daily.

The prayer above is a wonderful way to impart blessing to your child and can either be sung or spoken quietly while they sleep at night. It can also be added to your daily prayers for God’s grace and mercy to be upon your child’s life, and spoken with thanksgiving that God is indeed accomplishing it faithfully.

Praying Over Our Child

Mark 10:15-16  Assuredly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it.” ¹⁶ And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them.

The blessing that comes with the laying on of hands is often powerful and life changing for a child. When a believing father prays over his child through laying on of hands the Spirit Of God is imparted to the child and a blessing comes with it. Because it is spiritual in nature the blessing is not always fully understood, it is however a transference of some of the very best things that God has established in you throughout your life into the heart and spirit of your child.

As I said before we as a man can usually only give those things that we ourselves possess away to others in a blessing, there is however an exception to this rule. When a father who is filled with the Holy Spirit prays over his child, there are occasions when God Himself will reveal something by His Holy Spirit and impart a word of encouragement and faith through revelation or prophecy. I have personally experienced this many times and although we as men may only understand a minute portion of God’s plans for our child’s life, yet even that knowledge can impart vision and faith into our child’s heart.

Leading Your Child To Christ

2 Timothy 3:14-15  But you must continue in the things which you have learned and been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them,  and that from childhood you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.

The ultimate goal of every father should be to ensure that his child has every opportunity to find salvation through Christ Jesus. In a million years time the only decision that really counts, will be whether or not we believe in Christ’s death, burial and resurrection from the dead. As a man we need to ensure that our own faith is strengthened and encouraged daily through prayer and study of God’s word in the Bible and through fellowship with other believers, so that we have an abundance of spiritual blessing and wisdom to impart into the life of our child.

In my experience there is nothing more important in life than preparing our child both for life here on earth and in eternity. There are many challenges that we will face throughout life as a father and in every one of them it is advantageous to have the blessing and favour of God over our life and over the lives of our children. Spiritual Impartation is the key to opening up the doors of faith and hope in the hearts of our children and every father is called by God to take up this all important role.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

You may also find these teachings helpful:

http://dadsuni.com/the-element-of-faith.html

http://dadsuni.com/head-of-the-home.html

http://dadsuni.com/pray-daily-for-your-children.html

DadsUNI- Nurturing

I am continually reminded about the importance of laying a firm foundation in every area of life if what we are attempting to build is to stand the test of time. This principle remains true whether we are building our new home, considering a career change or planning for a family. Building something that will last requires time, effort and a considerable amount of wisdom. Continuing our short series on the foundational principles of our Dadsuni organisation that are found within our acronym UNI, we progress to the word Nurturing.

Dads UNI is based upon the three foundational precepts of Understanding, Nurturing and Imparting. These three areas address the needs of the mind, the emotions and the spirit of man and seek to bring them into a position where they can receive the fullness of God’s blessing and abundant life.

Dads UNI- Nurturing

(Nurturing)

verb

1. Caring for and protecting (someone or something) while they are growing
2. Helping or encouraging the development of (someone or something)
3. Cherishing (a hope, belief, or ambition)

When I write on the subject of Nurturing my mind inevitably reverts to the illustration which I believe best describes the process of Nurture and the picture is that of a plant conservatory. In a well prepared and thought out plant conservatory all the elements that are needed to bring a plant from seedling to full maturity are present.

The basic elements required for plants to thrive are water, sunshine, good soil, clean air and room to grow. There needs to be the right amount of each element, distributed at the correct time for the plant to truly thrive. It is also important that each plant be positioned in the correct location for its own particular requirements. Every plant is different and has differing needs and so it is with children, they are all unique and it is our job as a father to identify their individual needs and provide the best environment for them to grow and truly prosper in life.

Every gardener knows that plants don’t just need attention when they are seedlings, but constant care is also required while they continue to grow into maturity. This principle is relevant in our role of fatherhood, we are the gardeners and our children are our plantings. Like plants, our children will require the correct amount of nutrients to be added to their lives at the right times to help them grow. They will also require a constant weeding around them to keep them free of the restraints of bad influences. In our nurturing role we will need to ensure that our children are receiving those elements they require daily and we must be prepared to prune away the wrong attitudes that all children develop.

Deuteronomy 11:18-21  “Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. ¹⁹ You shall teach them to your children, speaking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. ²⁰ And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, ²¹ that your days and the days of your children may be multiplied in the land of which the Lord swore to your fathers to give them, like the days of the heavens above the earth.

Like the nurturing father described in the scripture above, our role must be constant and vigilant to ensure that our children are raised in the best possible way and thereby given the best possible chance of a wonderful life and eternity. What follows is a short list of some of the areas we will need to be diligent in as a father.

Physical Nurture

To nurture our children physically we as fathers need to provide for them the basics of life such as food, clothing and shelter. These components will sustain the natural physical life of a human being so that they can grow into full maturity, from a child into an adult. A balanced and nutrient rich diet containing fruit and vegetables, proteins and grains is broadly recommended by nutritionists. It is also our responsibility to provide clean well-fitting clothes and a safe and secure place to live to ensure that our child is physically prepared for life.

If we as the father and head of the home lead an active physical life then our children are far more likely to follow our example and also be active and healthy. By encouraging them to pursue a sport or activity and supporting them in it we can help ensure that they can grow strong and fit for life. Taking on a supportive role as a manager or coach of their team or even just a regular supporter will make a big difference to your child, as your approval as their father is vital for their well-being.

Emotional Nurture

A child’s needs however do not stop at physical requirements, every child has an emotional appetite that must be met as well. We as fathers, in partnership with our wife, need to provide for the emotional needs of our children by establishing a loving, caring and supportive environment for them to grow up in. I can not stress too much how important emotional nurture is in the life of a child, especially that which comes from their father.

Boys need to do things such as hug and wrestle with their father regularly to help develop a positive and balanced male self-image, and avoid the gender confusion that is constantly being promoted in the world. Girls need the hugs and tickles from a loving and encouraging father that treats her like a princess and tells her how wonderful she is, this will impart to her the self-image she requires to be a healthy and happy individual. Both of these actions from a father impart love and acceptance to a young child and help develop them into emotionally secure adults.

Intellectual Nurture

Our children’s minds are designed to be a library and resource that they can draw upon throughout life to help them travel successfully through this world. But each library must first be fitted out and stocked with books and it is here that we as parents have a huge opportunity and responsibility. We can ensure that the information stored within the data-base of their mind is valid, encouraging and pointing them in the right direction in life.

By reading to our child at an early age we can impart to them a love of learning and train them to use their imagination. Fathers who read to their children strengthen the bond they share. There is often a wonderful interaction between them via the inevitable questions that arise from telling stories. Regular bedtime stories are a wonderful way to nurture our child intellectually and open up an educational pathway that will help them get ahead in life.

Spiritual Nurture

A child’s spirit is the central hub out of which they live and relate to the world. It is incredibly important to protect a child’s spirit by ensuring that the words they hear about themselves are encouraging and imparting hope for their future. As a father we need to share our own values, faith and beliefs with our child that they may share our direction in life and hope of eternity.

Many things in the world are destructive for a child and none more so than the words that people speak and influences that surround them. Although we can’t protect them from every negative situation we can ensure that the majority of the influences and words spoken over their lives are positive and encouraging, rather than destructive and belittling.

Nurturing our children may not come naturally for many men, as we have come out of generations where father/child nurturing relationships have been neglected or even discarded entirely. The good news is that every man has the ability hard-wired within themselves to succeed in this wonderful area of parenthood. It is by applying ourselves as men and committing to nurturing relationships that we can create a strong bond with our child that will last a life-time.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

You may also find these teachings informative:

http://dadsuni.com/creating-an-environment-of-peace-in-the-home.html

http://dadsuni.com/speaking-the-four-letter-word.html

http://dadsuni.com/speaking-words-of-encouragement.html

http://dadsuni.com/the-case-for-change.html

DadsUNI: Understanding

I thought it was time to revisit the foundations of DadsUNI and to explain afresh the elements that make us who we are as an organisation. While in the role as Senior Pastor of a church on Australia’s Gold Coast in the 1990’s I received the idea and concept of Dadsuni whilst in prayer. Any God-given calling doesn’t merely reside in the mind as an idea only , but is ‘birthed in the spirit’ of the person ‘He’ has called to fulfill the work. In such a way God spoke to me and implanted a seed inside me which is constantly being watered and growing into a fruitful ministry. Today I’d like to speak about the first letter of our acronym UNI, and the word it stands for is Understanding.

Dads UNI is based upon the three foundational precepts of Understanding, Nurturing and Imparting. These three areas address the requirements of the mind, the emotions and the spirit of man and seek to bring them into a position where they can receive the fullness of God’s blessing and abundant life.

DadsUNI- Understanding

(Understanding)

noun

: the ability to understand something; comprehension.

To comprehend, to apprehend, to grasp, to perceive, to discern, to appreciate, to conceive or absorb

(Proverbs 2:1-5)  My son, if you receive my words, and treasure my commands within you, So that you incline your ear to wisdom, and apply your heart to understanding; Yes, if you cry out for discernment, and lift up your voice for understanding, If you seek her as silver, and search for her as for hidden treasures; Then you will understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God.

 

The mind is a gateway into our inner life and it is here that we must begin if we are to be successful in bringing about the change that is required to transform our lives. Right thinking will open up the path to right actions which will bring about right results in life, whereas wrong thinking will open the path to wrong actions which will bring about wrong results in life. How crucial it is therefore to start by laying the correct mental foundation so that we make the way open for a wonderful life.

Having understanding is more than merely acquiring knowledge on any given subject, it may begin in the mind but then it must go deeper into our human experience. Understanding comes through reflection and meditation upon the important areas of life and the experience we receive in their out-working over the years. DadsUNI provides our teachings world-wide to any men desiring to improve as a parent by understanding, perceiving and grasping the truths of fatherhood.

Understanding Wisdom

(Proverbs 21:30)  There is no wisdom. or understanding, or counsel against the Lord.

There are many ‘experts’ these days with much to say on any given subject and often we as the public listen to their counsel and follow their advice. However it is also important to note that these are merely fallible men who have been educated and trained by other fallible men in our Universities and Colleges. My point is this, much of their advice may be sound and usable in our lives but we should not fall into the error of accepting without question those things which they say.

There is I believe a ‘Litmus Test’ that should be applied to every area of life if we are to truly attain wisdom and not merely have our heads filled with the knowledge of men. That ‘Litmus Test’ is the comparison that we must all make between what the ‘experts’ say and what God Himself says in the Bible. God is revealed as our Creator, it was He who designed us and knows every aspect of our lives intimately. God has always been and always will be and His eternal life is filled with infinite knowledge. Without doubt there is no-one more qualified than our heavenly Father to dispense wisdom and knowledge and those who disagree with what He says on any given subject will ultimately be proven to be in error.

Wisdom comes when we understand how to apply those truths we find in God’s word in a way that is acceptable in His sight, so that we may fully benefit ourselves and our fellow-man. DadsUNI aims to bring understanding and wisdom to the important areas of parenting, and empower fathers to raise wonderful children.

Understanding Responsibility

(Psalm 127:3)  Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward.

Children are one of the greatest rewards we as a man can receive on this earth, but with that reward comes a responsibility to care for them. God our heavenly Father has delegated the care of each child born to its parents and especially to the father of the child, and it is ultimately before Him that we must stand and give an account of how we treated our children.

Every father was first a son, and as a son relied upon his parents to provide for him, to protect him from danger and to guide him in life. Without these basic safeguards a child has little chance of survival in the hostile world we live in. It is a father’s responsibility to accept this challenge of taking care of his child, and ensuring to the best of his ability that they have every opportunity in life.

Fathers who fail to accept their role in the family abandon their child to many destructive and harmful attacks. A child has no way to defend itself in a hostile world, but is easily taken advantage of when there is no provider, protector or guide in life. DadsUNI emphasizes the importance of shouldering our parental responsibilities as a pathway to becoming the best men that we could be.

Understanding Relationships

(John 15:13)  Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.

Life in this world is about relationships. Our first relationship is with our parents and siblings in the family in which we were born, and it is here that we learn many of the keys to maintaining and building healthy relationships. Understanding the importance of showing respect and honour to each member of the family, and especially your parents is foundational in understanding how all relationships in life work.

The realisation that we all get offended at times by others and we also offend others is easily understood, because we are all individuals and think differently on many subjects. It is because of the proliferation of ‘offenses’ in life that we must master the life principle of giving and receiving forgiveness regularly. As we go through life the keys of respect, honour and forgiveness are outworked in our friendships at school, our relationship with our girlfriend and ultimately will be with our wife and family.

Those who fail to master these basic principles of how to relate to another human being will struggle to be truly successful throughout their lives, for it is within relationships that we find our greatest fulfilment and happiness. DadsUNI teaches that it is within our relationships that we find both our greatest blessings and our greatest challenges in life, and without doubt it is those fathers who lay down their own selfish desires  and choose to serve that enjoy the experience most.

 Understanding Values

(Proverbs 12:22)  Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight.

The values we esteem within society like working hard, being honest and treating our fellow-man with kindness are based upon the principles of God’s Word. These values are eternal and proven throughout the history of mankind to be beneficial not only to those who practice them but also to society in general who profit from them.

Values and standards in society set a bench mark of what is acceptable behaviour and what is not, and should be established clearly and taught to every member of our society. Historically it is often when we as a society stray from these standards and disregard these values that we find ourselves experiencing the negative results of selfish and cruel acts perpetrated upon individuals and communities. DadsUNI advocates the return of our society to the biblical standards observed by our forefathers, that we may enjoy the security and stability that they have been proven to bring to us all.

Understanding God’s Principles

(Galatians 6:7)  Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.

There are many principles that are spoken of within God’s Word and they all apply within our lives as men and fathers. Daily study of the scriptures in the Bible gives many insights into both what is acceptable in the sight of God and what will benefit our lives as men here on the earth. God watches everything we do in life and He has set principles in motion that rebound back to us many of the acts we commit in life, whether they are positive or negative.

If we are kind to others we will also be shown kindness somewhere in our life, if we are generous toward those who are in need then God will not forsake us in our own time of need. If we forgive others of their errors and come to God humbly seeking His mercy then God will surely forgive us our errors too. But if we are harsh and cruel toward our fellow-man or devious and wicked in our hearts then we will reap the harvest of the destructive seeds we have sown and bring judgement down upon our own heads.

By understanding that God’s principles are established forever in the earth we as men can choose to walk in a way that will not only benefit us individually but also the children we are raising. DadsUNI upholds that in life it is always advantageous to do things God’s way that we may receive the fullness of the blessing He desires to give our family.

Acquiring an understanding heart is the foundation for receiving wisdom in every area of our lives, and especially in the areas of fatherhood. This is obtained through both loving and fearing God and putting His ways first in your life. Every other aspect of life falls into its proper place when this foundation stone is laid firmly in our heart as a man. To be the best man and father we can be in this world we need to seek daily to acquire an understanding mind and heart, and the blessings that they release into our family.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

You may also find this teaching helpful:

http://dadsuni.com/the-process-of-forgiveness.html

10 Things That Great Dads Do (No.10)

As we finish this series on ’10 Things That Great Dads Do’ it would be remiss of me not to mention what is probably one of the most influential aspects of being a ‘Great Dad’. Every other aspect of the ’10 Things That Great Dads Do’ are focussed into the family environment and the relationships held within it, but the last aspect differs in the direction of that focus. Being a father means being a leader, in your home firstly but that leadership often flows out of your home and into the surrounding neighbourhood. Today I am going to write on the subject of “Great Dads Are Inclusive In Their Role”.

Great Dads Are Inclusive In Their Role

The life that we share with ‘others’ that are not family members is ‘an expression of inclusiveness‘. When we open up our lives and our homes we are being ‘inclusive’ and inviting others to share in the ‘unique blessing’ that our family has to give. ‘Exclusive’ parenting strategies are often based in fear and try to protect themselves by keeping others out, while ‘inclusive’ parenting strategies stem from a confidence in who you are and what you believe as a family, and are open to share their goodness with others. ‘Great Dads’ have the confidence to be inclusive in their parenting strategy and are willing to share the blessing they have to give with others.

Fathering Over The Wall

Many children in our modern society are growing up in ‘broken’ families, with either little or no fatherly contact for the children. There is an overwhelming need for each child born to have the love and guidance of both their mother and father if they are to grow up as strong and productive members of society. Many behavioural issues that arise in children’s lives can be traced back to ‘family breakdown’, and their effects are felt daily in the wider community.

It seems clear that many ‘modern’ parents never received the love and training of a father that they themselves needed, and so lack the parenting skills required to pass onto the next generation. Dysfunctional parents create dysfunctional children, who then become dysfunctional parents, and the process is repeated down throughout the generations.

However if one loving father finds room in his heart to ‘encourage’ and ‘connect’ with a young person from one of these dysfunctional families, their whole future can be impacted and changed for the better. A rock dropped into a pool sends ripples out a long way, we as fathers can use the ripple effect to ‘father over the wall’. Whether it’s being a friend to one of your children’s playmates or becoming a coach of a local soccer team, we as fathers have an opportunity to impact not only our own children’s lives but those of others in our community. ‘Great Dads’ are often those who influence their communities positively by ‘fathering over the wall’.

Influencing Rather Than Being Influenced

In every relationship there is give and take, and that principle remains constant even in a child’s friendships. However one person in the relationship is often more dominant or influential than the other and therefore in a position to bring change.  As a father we need to ensure that a majority of the influences around our own children are positive and encouraging. In saying that not all of our children may initially be natural leaders or influencers themselves, and may be more susceptible to the influence of others. Some of the influences that come into our child’s life may prove to be detrimental in the long-term and it is those relationships that need to be ‘identified and removed’ as wisely as possible.

Those that stand up for what they believe become the positive ‘influencers’ in society, while many others simply follow the crowd. We as fathers need to continue to impart wisdom, understanding and acceptance to our own children, giving them the self-confidence they need to become some of the future leaders within their generation. In every relationship there are those who are being influenced and those who are doing the influencing, and it is important that we position our children as best we can to be a leader within their peer group. ‘Great Dads’ impart their abilities and strengths to their children so that they too may become a positive ‘influence’.

Being Proactive And Planning

One of the best things a father can do for the future is to create a child/teenager friendly home environment, which is welcoming to those of their age groups. This may include things like pool or ping-pong tables, swimming pools, cubby houses etc. or just a comfortable place where the kids like to ‘hang out’ together. By providing gaming consoles and large screen TV’s we are able to create an environment that is conducive toward making your home the ‘hang out’ of choice for your own children and their friends.

This often gives us as fathers an opportunity especially in the teenage years to ‘screen’ our child’s friends, and if needed to express any concerns we may have about a particular friendship that may not be in their best interests in the long-term. One of the benefits of having a child-friendly home is that our children remain under our care and watch rather than leaving and going to someone else’s place, where we may not be able to influence the environment.

Building A Better World

We as one man can’t save the whole world, but we can transform the lives of some of those around us by impacting them with love and encouragement. No man is an island and no family is either, we are part of this world whether we like it or not and we all have a part to play in it. Opting out of being part of it is not an option, so we as fathers need to be the best influence in our world that we can be. If we choose to be ‘inclusive’ in our parenting strategy we can be ‘the rock’ that sends out ripples in the pool of our local community and touch the lives and futures of many young people. ‘Great Dads’ become the positive ‘influencers’ our societies need to build better communities and ultimately a better world.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

You might also want to take a look at this teaching:

http://dadsuni.com/fathering-over-the-wall.html

10 Things That Great Dads Do (No.9)

As we begin to draw close to the end of this series it is important to have a reminder that we as men need to enjoy our role as fathers if we are to truly prosper in it. Like many other aspects of life, it is natural to gravitate towards areas that we find easier and feel more comfortable in rather than those areas where we may seem to struggle. It is for this specific reason that I am pleased to be writing about this most enjoyable element of becoming a ‘Great Dad’. In truth the most common aspect that all ‘Great Dads’ share is that ‘Great Dads Have Lots Of Fun With Their Kids’.

 Great Dads Have Lots Of Fun With Their Kids

I think it’s worth mentioning that we as ‘a father’ should have an over-all goal pertaining to what we want to achieve as a dad. This should include but not be limited to the type of dad we want to become and most importantly how we want our child’s life to eventually turn out. Everything we do as a father should have an over-all motivation of strengthening our relationship with our child, and having fun with our kids is one of the most effective ways to strengthen that bond.

 Being Known As A Fun Dad

If your child could pick just a few words to describe you as a father what would those words be?

Some children may say ‘my dad is strict‘, others ‘my dad goes to the gym‘, while still others may say ‘my dad travels for work’. None of these areas identified are wrong in themselves and each of them have a place in life, but I put it to you that they should not be the primary way we are identified by our child.

The reason for that is because ‘being strict‘, ‘going to the gym‘ or ‘travelling for work‘ don’t actually strengthen your relational bond with your child, as these descriptions can be spoken without a sense of joy and love by your child. These statements can often be perceived as an explanation defining a reason why the relationship between you isn’t really very close. These statements are ‘impersonal’ and there is no emotional attachment that comes with them.

However if you child’s response to the question above was ‘my dad loves me‘ or ‘my dad reads bedtime stories to me‘ or ‘my dad is lots of fun‘, then it is easy to understand that these responses describe a relational bond that is strong and growing stronger. ‘Great Dads’ are known primarily by their children as being fun to be around.

Being Spontaneous

In our modern world many men’s lives are so structured by work commitments that every aspect of it is written in their diary and every minute accounted for religiously. If this is an accurate description of your life, you should not be surprised if it seems to resemble that of ‘a robot’ a little more than that of a ‘human being’ in the eyes of a child. Whatever we as ‘the father’ choose as being important is being observed by little eyes and registered in little hearts, and they are evaluating where they personally fit into your busy schedule and how important they are to you.

It is for this reason that we must look closely at our own lifestyle choices and be open to make corrections when they are needed. As a father we need to show our children/family that they are our greatest priority in life and not just another scheduled meeting in our diary.

Doing things on the spur of the moment occasionally adds a degree of the unknown and an aspect of adventure to your child’s life. Being spontaneous helps avoid the ‘boring’ name tag that day-to-day life often wears. Stopping off at a park on the way home, helping someone that you see is in need, dropping into your favourite fast food restaurant occasionally, it all helps keep the enjoyment in family life. ‘Great Dads’ have an element of unpredictable playfulness in their lives that adds a little excitement into family life.

Sharing Your Love For Life

One of the best things we can do for our child is to impart to them an attitude of loving life, the joy of discovering new things and new places, and enjoying the company of friends and family. Our children follow our lead in many areas of life and when they see you loving life and experiencing joy and happiness it imparts hope into their young hearts that their life will also be filled with joy. But if we are grumpy every day and negative about the challenges we face in life they will often follow our lead in this area and they will have a negative attitude in life as well. ‘Great Dads’ are mindful that their children develop a love for life.

Going Interesting Places

I believe it is important to get your children out of the house/apartment regularly to enjoy the many wonderful things that are around us and to experience the beauty of nature. This can be as simple as going to a local beach or dropping into a museum or a music recital, going to a zoo or even going to watch your favourite team play. Taking your children fishing or camping in the woods gives them a wonderful opportunity to experience the wonders of creation first hand, and while you enjoy it together as a family you are strengthening your relational bond. It is important for us as fathers to open up opportunities for our children to experience as many interesting aspects of life as possible so that they have a chance to discover those areas that they themselves are drawn to and will become involved in later in life. ‘Great Dads’ are constantly thinking up new and interesting places to take their children.

Letting Your Hair Down

I have found personally that by playing with my children often as they were growing I re-awakened my own creativity and love for life. This is just one of the many benefits that you will find through being a fully involved father and parent. I believe that you should let your child see your playful side too as well as your strict side that they might understand that you are fun and approachable and not merely an authoritative parent.

I recently saw a quote that stated “Children go where the fun is, but always return to where the love is”, this is an accurate insight into the needs and wishes of a child. However my own take on this quote is that how much better it would be if they found both love and fun within the family environment that you have created as ‘the father’. ‘Great Dads’ are men that have realised the joy and long-term relational benefits of having lots of fun with their children.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

You may also find this teaching valuable:

http://dadsuni.com/teach-your-children-to-appreciate-nature.html

10 Things That Great Dads Do (No.8)

As we have progressed through our series on “10 Things That Great Dads Do” we have been identifying areas that separate and elevate ‘Great Dads’ beyond other men in their role as a father. ‘Great Dads’ have the ability to relate at a deeper level with their children than most men, and today I’m going to share one of the keys of how they do it. Life is all about relationships, our marriage, our children and then there is the most important one of all, the primary relationship of life from which all other relationships grow, our relationship with God. Today I will be talking about how Great Dads Commit Their Children Into God’s Care.

Great Dads Commit Their Children Into God’s Care

The Dad and God 

Matthew 6:9  In this manner, therefore, pray: Our Father in heaven, Hallowed be Your name…

In all areas of family life men are called to take up the leadership role, and to show by their own life example the way for their children to live. This is a great responsibility for us as men, but thankfully we don’t have to carry the weight of this obligation alone. For many men there are times in their role as a father when they may feel out of their depth and floundering. It is for this very reason that I have developed a daily relationship with God, our Heavenly Father, so I can ask for and receive His guidance and wisdom for being a dad.

Jesus revealed through what we commonly know as ‘The Lord’s Prayer’ that God is in truth the Father of us all, and cares about every aspect of our lives. It is through the development of a firm abiding trust in God that we are able to access wisdom and knowledge that we can use daily in our role as a father.

It is important to know that God Himself loves our children even more than we do, and His desire is to see their life blessed both now and eternally. With God’s help we as fathers do not need to not fall into the trap of fearing the worst in our child’s life, but can enjoy the freedom of trusting and hoping for the best.

Baby Dedication

Matthew 19:14  But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

So many children these days are disadvantaged by their parents not allowing or hindering them coming to Jesus for His blessing. A child’s precious life is shaped early by the contacts they have or don’t have with either good or bad influences. God’s great love is available for all and especially for children who are particularly open to His Holy Spirit’s guidance and positive influence. When God speaks to a child their whole life can be blessed by His impact upon their heart and life direction, and they can avoid many of the pitfalls that we as men know are out there in the world.

From the moment my children were born and even when they were in the womb, I prayed for God’s blessing and protection upon their lives daily. I committed them into His safe-keeping spiritually that they would be spared from the evils of this world and would find an eternal home with Jesus Christ. I dedicated my family and especially my children into God’s protection and blessing and enjoy the peace that commitment gives me as a father.

Daily Prayer For Your Child

2 Samuel 12:16  David therefore pleaded with God for the child, and David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground.

Numbers 6:22-26  And the Lord spoke to Moses, saying: ²³ “Speak to Aaron and his sons, saying, ‘This is the way you shall bless the children of Israel. Say to them: ²⁴ “The Lord bless you and keep you; ²⁵ The Lord make His face shine upon you,And be gracious to you; ²⁶ The Lord lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.”’

The lives of our children are precious in our sight as fathers, and even more so in the sight of our Loving Heavenly Father. As we stand in our role as their father and pray for them we are building a hedge of protection and God’s favour around their young lives. Their innocence and purity must be protected and thankfully we as fathers can go to God daily for His help and wisdom in how to achieve this. Developing a habit of spending time daily thanking God for His blessing and favour upon our children can bring tremendous changes for the better in their future.

Guidance Through Scriptures

Ephesians 6:4  And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

A life without faith is a life without hope. Children that are brought up without the comfort and encouragement of the scriptures in the bible are like pieces of driftwood upon the sea of life, they have no choice or ability to change where they are going. The foundations of faith, hope and love that are found in the Bible set up a young life for success, both here on earth and ultimately in eternity. By daily study of the scriptures we as fathers build up a storehouse of wisdom and insight into our role as a parent, and can guide our children in life with confidence.

Releasing The Apron Strings

As our children continue to grow it is our role as their father to prepare them for life as an adult, and this involves allowing them incrementally more authority in their own life when we believe that they are ready for it. By initially giving them charge over little areas in their life, like choosing what they will wear etc. we are helping them become aware of the benefits and responsibilities of having a free will. When they are adults they will be able to do and say what they choose in life, so now is the time when we have the opportunity to teach them the wisdom that will enable them to make better choices.

‘Great Dads’ continually entrust their child’s life into the hands and protection of the ‘Almighty’ and let go our own control of their lives one piece at a time. I have never found this easy personally, for as a dad I always want to protect and shelter them from life’s storms. But as the wise proverb says “If we give a man a fish we feed him for a day, but if we teach him to fish we will feed him for life”. We will not always be there for them, our own lives on this earth will come to an end, and we must ensure that they are ready and trained to continue on when we are gone.

God is better able to protect them than we ever can be, even as a loving dad. By committing our children’s lives into His care we are freed from many of the cares and fears that would emotionally restrict us. Our firm abiding trust in God as a father frees us to be better able to enjoy the experience and honour of being a ‘Great Dad’.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

You may also find this teaching helpful:

http://dadsuni.com/committing-your-children-to-god.html

10 Things That Great Dads Do (No.7)

Becoming a ‘Great Dad’ begins with a desire that must be birthed in the heart of every father if they are to achieve this most excellent worldly acclaim. Once that desire has been consciously realised, the active pursuit of becoming a ‘Great Dad’ is one of the signs that you will be successful in your goal.  Today as we continue our series I will be writing about a foundational aspect of fatherhood and how ‘Great Dads’ Discipline Their Children Fairly And Consistently.

Great Dads Discipline Their Children Fairly And Consistently

I think it goes without saying that the area of ‘discipline’ is probably the most contentious issue of fatherhood, and is often confused with being the same as ‘child abuse’. It seems that everyone has an opinion on the subject and many roll out their PhD’s to justify themselves as ‘experts’ on the subject and their own particular arguments as being correct. In my experience the best way to know if a particular ‘theory’ actually works or not is to look at the fruit of the teaching in their own children’s lives, unfortunately this often does not become apparent for many years.

I however prefer to rely upon the One who created us and His knowledge and wisdom of how we as fathers should go about raising our children. God has raised billions of children over time and knows exactly how we function and react to discipline in life, and He has set the checks and balances for fathers to follow in the application of discipline within the home.

Biblically founded discipline is based upon training and equipping our children for a successful life in this world. Here are just a few of the many scriptures relating to the importance of discipline within the home:

Hebrews 12:11  Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

Proverbs 13:24  He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

Proverbs 3:11-12  My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, nor detest His correction, for whom the Lord loves He corrects, just as a father the son in whom he delights.

Proverbs 29:15  The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

Proverbs 6:23 For the commandment is a lamp, and the law a light, reproofs of instruction are the way of life.

 Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.

How Do We Go About It?

The short list that follows offers some important insights into how to go about applying biblically based discipline within your home:

The Importance Of Consistency

Galatians 6:9  And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

It is essential that as the ‘father’ we clearly define the boundaries of acceptable behaviour within the family unit to our children. Once that knowledge has been imparted to our child it is vital that we are consistent in enforcing the rules or boundaries you have chosen to apply in your family. If we discipline wrong actions today and let them go unrebuked next time it sends a message to our child that you are not serious about these rules. Many behaviours will take some time to change in the life of our child and as we show consistency they will understand that they are not able to get away with wrong actions. When punishment seems inevitable for wrong actions then it is much easier for a child to make the right choices in life.

Counting To Ten

Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry, and do not sin” 

It is also important to know that as a ‘father’ our own conduct is on show before our children 24/7. Accepting our own weaknesses and failures as men can enable us to treat our children with empathy and understanding when it comes time to discipline them for wrong conduct.  Taking the time to ensure that we as the father are not reacting out of anger is paramount if we are to be effective in getting the best result out of training our children up in the way they should go. Sending your child to their bedroom or time out location is a good idea to enable us as men enough time to gain self-control and ensure that we are thinking clearly and not saying or doing something that we may regret later.

Listening To Their Side Of The Story

Proverbs 18:13  He who answers a matter before he hears it, it is folly and shame to him.

I have found that it is vital to give your child an opportunity to tell their side of the story before discipline is applied. Asking them to explain why they did a certain action also gives them an opportunity to retrace their own thought processes and can help bring about the required change in behaviour through self-reflection. Their explanation may result in only a partial requirement or no need for discipline at all if you decide that their actions were justified.

Explaining The Reasons For Discipline

Matthew 18:15  Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother.

Your child should be educated to the reasons that their behaviour was unacceptable, specifically identifying what they did that was wrong! Explaining to your child that you love them and do not want their life to go in a wrong direction is a great way to bring understanding for the need of discipline. It lays a foundation in love and minimises the possibility for your child to be offended by being disciplined.

Disciplining In Private

Ephesians 6:4  And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

Needing to be disciplined is difficult enough for a child without the shame of their wrong actions being added to through the humiliation of being rebuked in public view. To save them embarrassment in front of their peers or siblings it is important to apply any discipline required to your child in private. If you are out in public let your child know that they have erred and they will be disciplined when they get home.

Teaching Them To Say Sorry

James 5:16  Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. 

A major reason for applying discipline is to ensure that the whole family dynamic is not hindered long-term by the wrong actions of the one. For this reason it is important as part of the process that you teach your children to apologise for their misdemeanours and especially to other members of the family that may have been affected by them. Saying sorry rebuilds the relational bridges that have been broken down through family conflict.

Hugging Afterwards

1 Corinthians 16:14  Let all that you do be done with love.

Disciplining your child can actually be an opportunity for you to connect with them at a deeper and more wonderful level. In light of this it is important to hug and reassure your child after they are disciplined and to verbalise your love and acceptance of them as a valued member of the family.

Discipline that is lovingly applied on a consistent basis trains our child and points them in the right direction for a successful and happy life. In my experience when the correct discipline is applied early in a child’s life the need for discipline as they continue to grow is much less, because those lessons have already been learned.

It is encouraging to know that ‘Great Dads’ are not born that way, but they are just men like us who are transformed by realizing the potential that they have within them, a potential we all share. Being a ‘Great Dad’ means being respected by your children and this requires both love and discipline.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

For a more detailed teaching of this subject check out this link:

http://dadsuni.com/discipline-within-the-home.html

 

10 Things That Great Dads Do (No.6)

As we progress through our series “10 Things That Great Dads Do” we begin to understand that each of the facets we have selected are actually aspects of the heart. Being a ‘Great Dad’ has much more to do with how we relate to our children on a personal basis rather than what we can merely provide for them financially. Many men are so busy ‘making a living’ that they forget to ‘make a life’. Today I am going to be looking at the importance of ‘Making Time For Your Children’.

 Great Dads Make Time For Their Children

Notice that I didn’t say “Have More Time” but “Make More Time”. We all have the same amount of time: twenty-four hours, one thousand four hundred and forty minutes, or eighty-six thousand four hundred seconds each day depending on how you want to look at it. This element of the equation is constant and can not be changed, but what can be changed is how we allocate the time we have. Once a day is gone it can never be reclaimed, reused or recycled, it is now in our past. In the light of this reality how incredibly important it is to make the most of every day given to us in life.

Most men have very busy lives, it seems that busy-ness is a standard aspect of life on earth as we rush around doing the things that need to get done. I have rarely met a man who says he has too much free time on his hands and not enough to do, especially those men who have a ‘family’. Whether it is working at our career, spending time with our wife and children, exercising for our health or just socializing with friends, it often seems that each days schedule is already full before we even get there!

It is therefore vital as a man that we are pro-active and learn to effectively prioritize our lives. One of the most useful things a man can do is to spend some quality time deciding what is really important to him as an individual, and then establishing clear priorities in his heart and mind. Once these priorities are established he must diligently defend them and not allow the ‘urgent’ aspects of business to overcome the ‘important’ aspects of life.

I would recommend taking time to list every area of your life that takes up your time. It may start with merely a group of words all mixed up like: Work, Wife, Gym, Children, Soccer, Social Life, Parents, House Renovation, Shopping, Holidays, Church Life etc. Then as we progress through our list we begin to decide those areas that mean the most to you in life. By searching our own heart we begin defining what is most important to us and what is least important, and eventually all those jumbled words will start to become clear in the order of their significance or value to us as an individual.

It may end up looking  something like this:

• My relationship with God
• My relationship with my family (Wife and Children)
• My career
• My relationship with my parents/siblings
• My sport/health/gym
• My relationship with my friends
• House Renovations
• Etc, Etc

Only you can decide those things that you want to be your top priorities in life, but one thing I would say is that I have NEVER ministered to a man on his deathbed that wished he’d spent more time at work/making money. Without fail every person I ever ministered to realised that everything besides those you love fades into insignificance at the conclusion of your life. It is my hope that as men and fathers we can grasp this reality at an early age.

Making Time For Our Children

When we go to the effort of spending quality time with our children we are saying to them that they are important to you. It means that at that particular moment they are actually the most important thing in your life. This speaks volumes to young children who are constantly looking for validation and acceptance and goes a long way toward strengthening their self-image.

‘Great Dads’ purposely position their family relationships within the very highest places of their priority list. When our children are truly our priority we do not allow other seemingly ‘urgent’ things to take their place in our life, and when other things attempt to intrude upon that relationship we defend against them earnestly. A father who says he wants to spend time with his children but consistently allows the ‘urgent’ things of life to intrude into that time, may well reach the end of his life alone and abandoned by the children who felt abandoned by him.

If we want to enjoy the benefits of a loving and caring family, we as fathers must invest our time and energy initially so that we can receive those abundant returns later. Being a ‘Great Dad’ will take a huge level of time and effort from us as fathers, but we will receive back far more than we ever give. It is the heart felt commitment to being a ‘Great Dad’ that will open up a deep and wonderful relationship with our children that will last a lifetime.

 Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

You may also find this teaching helpful

http://dadsuni.com/children-need-time-time-time.html

10 Things That Great Dads Do (No.5)

As we continue our series “10 Things That Great Dads Do” we are identifying key character traits that elevate ordinary men into ‘Great Dad’ status. Many of the ‘Great Dads’ I have met share similar characteristics and it is these common areas that I thought worth sharing in this series. Today I am going to write about the fact that all ‘Great Dads’ have the respect of their children.

Great Dads Have The Respect Of Their Children

respect

noun

• a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

We see from the definition of ‘respect’ that it is a feeling that comes as a result of our actions as a man and father. Respect is built up over a period of time through consistently doing the right things in life, especially in areas that apply to our relationships within the family.

Who is the Leader?

Initially it is important to understand what are the foundations of family life. A family unit doesn’t just appear magically out of no where, but is developed through the union/marriage of a man and a woman. Within a marriage there are ‘Roles’ that are clearly defined in scripture, Adam was created first and Eve was given to Adam as a help-mate or partner.

Genesis 2:18  And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Both Adam and Eve were loved and cherished by God and both have incredible value in the sight of God. Man is not better than woman, or woman better than man, both have equal value within God’s sight. Where the difference lies is within the ‘Roles’ that each of them play within the family unit. The Man is called to be the family leader or head and his wife is called to assist him and partner with him in his role.

If a man does not have the respect of his wife it is far more difficult to achieve long-term respect from his children. It is therefore within this relationship with his wife that a man must begin to build the respect required for success. A marriage that is filled with love and mutual respect is a strong foundation for family life, and will benefit our children immensely. Alternately, if we lack these elements within our marriage, our family life will suffer and may even struggle to survive as a family unit.

Children Need To Respect Their Parents

Exodus 20:12  “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.”

We see here that one of the ‘Ten Commandments’ that God gave to His people directly identified respecting and honouring parents as a crucial part of family life and a way to maintain the blessing of God over your life. What follows is a short list of areas that influence our ability to achieve and maintain the respect of our family and specifically our children.

How You Build Respect

• Respect is built through shouldering responsibility. As the father and leader of our home we are the primary provider and protector of our family. It therefore falls to us to lead through carrying much of the responsibility for dealing with the difficult issues that sometimes arise in family life. Don’t shy away from or attempt to delegate the issues that you alone are able to deal with effectively. Great Dads carry the responsibility of fatherhood.
• Respect is built through keeping your word. As a man we need to be known for doing what we say we will do, and as a father this is even more important. It is crucial to think clearly before we make commitments that we may not be able to perform. Don’t make promises to your children unless you fully intend to keep them. If for any valid reason you are not able to fulfil your promise apologise and explain to your children the reasons why, but be aware that if you make excuses often your credibility will suffer accordingly. Great Dads are men of their word.
• Respect is built by going the extra mile. Don’t just do the bare minimum required to lead your family, but always be on the lookout for opportunities to express your love through acts of kindness and generosity. Great Dads do more for their families.
• Respect is built by being a kind and supportive leader. As the head of the home we are called to be the shining example of fatherly care and support for our wife and children. If they are struggling with issues in life stand with them and encourage them through it. Great Dads are known for being kind.
• Respect is built by listening when your children need to talk. If your children know that they can go to you for advice and guidance without being ‘belittled’ or ‘dismissed as trivial’ it will go a long way toward cementing a deep respect within them for you and your role as their father. Great Dads develop the ability to listen.
• Respect is built by being humble. If we as the father are not teachable and willing to change when our own faults become apparent then our children may well struggle to respect us. Our own inadequacies are never more visible than within a family environment, where our conduct is on show 24/7. By admitting your own failures and asking for forgiveness when we need to, a father shows the way for his children to follow. This action of humility helps enable our children to accept and deal with their own shortcomings more easily. Great Dads understand the importance of humility.
• Respect is built by giving respect and praise that is due. Respect is a two-way street we must give it to receive it. We must respect our wife as a co-equal within our home and honour her often in front of the children, appreciating her hard work and many personal sacrifices for the family. In the same way we need to understand and respect the fact that our children are unique and important individuals that God has entrusted into our care. As we appreciate them and encourage them in life we make it easy for them to reciprocate by showing us respect as their father. Great Dads show respect to others first.

Respect Should Be Required But Can Not Be Demanded

Because ‘respect’ is a feeling that comes from the heart it is something that must be real and heart-felt. If respect is to be heart-felt it must come willingly and not merely because it is demanded by an overbearing father.

In the first instance it is a father’s responsibility to make sure that their children know that God requires them to respect their parents. Then the challenge we face as fathers is to be the kind of father that is worthy to be respected. The way a man treats his wife and his children will either make it very easy for them to show him respect or very difficult.

‘Great Dads’ have the respect of their children because they consistently exhibit character traits that are worthy to be admired, they lead the way by their life example and create a path for their children to follow.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

You may also find this teaching beneficial:

http://dadsuni.com/teach-your-children-to-show-respect-for-authority.html

10 Things That Great Dads Do (No.4)

The potential to transform from a young man who has just become a father into a ‘Great Dad’ is within each and every one of us, it is however a transformation that will require time and effort on our part. We will need to acquire knowledge and understanding of ourself as a man and of our role as a father if we are to succeed. Today as we continue the series ’10 Things That Great Dads Do’ we will be looking at the area of “Believing In The Calling Of Fatherhood”.

Great Dads Believe In The Calling Of Fatherhood

The first time I set eyes on my first-born child I had a personal epiphany, a moment that carried such a depth of clarity and emotion as to be unforgettable. My wife and I were in the delivery room of the Gold Coast Hospital after a long and exhausting labour and then suddenly my son was born. In that moment I went from a young man who had become a husband, to a husband that had become a father. I physically felt my capacity for love grow as my heart swelled with pride at the sound of his first cry.

I know that there are many young fathers who have experienced something similar at the moment of their child’s birth, a sense of awe that released a wave of love and pride within their hearts. The power of that moment in our lives as young fathers is important to maintain and to build upon as it is a foundation stone for much of what will follow later.

Non-Involved Dads 

Now I know that for some men this important life event is merely a blip on the computer monitor of life, and they believe that it is more of a nuisance for them personally rather than a blessing. In many cases these men had no intention of being committed in their relationship with the mother of their child, to them it was just another sexual encounter as they ‘sowed their wild oats‘. To these men the child that is born is merely a problem and a responsibility that they did not look forward to as a man and now often seek to avoid.

The main obstacle that they face in enjoying the experience of fatherhood is that they have not had that moment of ‘connecting’ with their child. I personally believe that each man has within him the capacity to ‘connect’ with their child, but it is an experience that our heart must be open to as men first. This ‘connection’ can ‘potentially’ come at any time if we as a man truly desire to be involved in the life of the child we have helped create.

The Calling of Fatherhood

Without doubt one of the greatest things that we can ever do upon this earth is to become a father. Ever since Creation men have been experiencing the joy of transforming from being single to becoming a married couple, then transforming from a married couple to a family. This is the pathway through adulthood and maturity that we as men are destined to follow, a road that has been prepared for us by our loving heavenly Father.

There is in a very real sense a ‘high calling’ to fatherhood that God places upon us as men, it is a timeless vocation to stand in the place of ‘leader’ and ‘protector’ of your family. It is important for us as men to understand that as a ‘God-given calling‘ it also comes with an empowerment or ability to perform it. God never asks us to do something without giving us the ability to do what He requires.

The calling into ‘fatherhood’ is a sign that God trusts you with the most precious items to be found in this world, namely our children. Thankfully God doesn’t just leave us to work it all out ourselves, but has placed His guidance for fathers in His written word ‘The Bible’. Many men including myself find daily help and wisdom from God through the lifestyle of a praying father.

Our heavenly Father knew that each child born would need a protector to watch over them, a carer to love them, a teacher to show them and a shepherd to guide them in life. These roles have been delegated widely to both parents but are far more effectively accomplished when a father is deeply committed and involved in the life of the child.

‘Great Dads’ believe in their calling to fatherhood, and because they believe they are also willing to fully invest themselves in the pursuit of becoming the best father they can be. Fatherhood is not merely a responsibility that we have to carry, it is an honourable calling that we have been entrusted with, and it is up to us as fathers to rise to the challenge God has set before us!

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

You may also find this teaching of interest:

http://dadsuni.com/fathers-making-fathers.html