What Are You Pursuing In Life?

There are many voices in the world trying to get our attention and saying ‘This is what will bring you happiness, or this is what you should be doing!’ But as a man and the leader of our family how should we live in this world? As we shoulder the responsibility of being a parent what path will ultimately prove to be the best for our children? Following is a list of some of the most popular modern life philosophies for your consideration:

The Pursuit Of Money

We live in a consumer society where the pursuit of monetary gain is the ‘carrot’ that many people reach for on a daily basis. They wake up each morning and subconsciously begin their quest to ‘make a living’ and ‘bring home the bacon’ so that their family is provided for. Although it is an honourable thing for fathers to provide for their families, should our life and thoughts be ruled by the pursuit of pieces of paper with pictures and numbers stamped upon them, is that all we are as human beings?

The Pursuit Of Power

It doesn’t take too much imagination to see that there are many people to whom pursuing power and influence over others is a primary goal. Politicians and businessmen are probably the most visible of this type of person, all you have to do is turn on the television to see their impact upon our society. Power and money often seem to go hand in hand, like twins walking down the road of life. Often those with pleasing looks and personalities achieve notoriety and prominence in our society, but shouldn’t wielding power be more about having a strong character, shouldering responsibility and metering out fairness to all ?

The Pursuit Of Knowledge

We also live in a society where the acquiring of knowledge is a highly prized commodity. From our earliest years we are set upon a path which often begins with Kindergarten, then onto Primary and Secondary Schools and often followed by College or University studies. The greater our educational standard the more we are respected in society, and we can expect to be paid commensurate with our qualifications. The accumulation of knowledge is commendable but shouldn’t a person also possess the wisdom to apply that knowledge correctly?

The Pursuit Of Pleasure

Many in our modern society have chosen the path of ‘Hedonism‘, this school of thought argues that the pursuit of pleasure in all its forms should be our fundamental pursuit. The proliferation of pornography across the world bears testament to its popularity, but is this the way we should live our lives? If pursuing physical/sexual gratification unhindered by any moral compass is the way we should live then why does mans conscience condemn him when he acts this way?

The Pursuit of Religion

The word ‘Religion’ originally comes from the Latin word ‘Ligare’ which means to bind (As in tying someone up with cords) Billions of people around the world use the pursuit of strict religious practices or good works as a pathway to obtain enlightenment, inner peace or forgiveness of sin etc. Through a series of rites, rituals and observances many seek to attain a state of spiritual righteousness to appease the wrath of God. Are those who seek God through strict religious practices or good works more qualified than others to define the path for our lives and family?

The Pursuit of Truth

If a man had not walked on water and calmed the winds and waves with a word from His mouth then perhaps we as men could be forgiven for thinking that the pursuit of Money or Power was the path that we should follow. If a man had not healed every sickness and disease brought to Him and even raised dead people back to life, then perhaps we could not be blamed for thinking that the acquiring of Knowledge or the experiencing of Pleasure should be our ultimate goal in life. If a man had not proven the greatness of God’s love for us when He allowed Himself to be condemned by the religious establishment and then willingly carried the ‘sins of the world’ upon His own body when He was crucified on the cross then perhaps mere Religious Observances or good works could be the way to enlightenment.

Jesus said clearly “I Am the Way. the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father but by Me“

Now there is nothing wrong with attempting to acquire wealth or influence, experiencing pleasure or attaining knowledge or in doing good works, in fact we should all be involved with these activities in our life. But the central claimant upon our life is surely Him who gave us life, and revealed Himself to us through His Son. It is the miraculous transformation that comes to the human heart and the deep and abiding relationship with Him that should be our greatest goal in life. As fathers and the heads of our homes we can do no better than leading our families in the pursuit of truth.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

Winning The Battles Of Life

As men and fathers we will face many challenges throughout our lives, some of these will be overcome relatively easily while others may prove incredibly difficult to endure. Ultimately it is how we face these challenges that often decides whether or not we arise victorious from them. Being prepared before you ever face the battle gives you a far better chance of success.

Following are some suggestions to help us as fathers arise victorious from the battles that come our way throughout life:

Create a Battle Plan: Every father needs to be as prepared as they possibly can be for the unexpected events of life. Taking some time to consider how you would be able to react in different circumstances strengthens your overall effectiveness as a parent. Although its impossible to be prepared for everything that may eventuate in life, having a broad plan or strategy at least gives you a track to run on.

Protecting Loved Ones: In medieval times there were many castles through England and Europe and these were usually owned by a regional Lord or Ruler. It was his role to protect the surrounding villagers by defending them from any invading forces of the enemy. When an enemy army was sighted the local populations were protected behind the walls of the castle or stronghold. One of the primary roles of a father is to protect his family at all costs, like those regional Lords we need to ensure that our loved ones are safe during difficult times.

Increasing Security: Wise Lords spent time improving the defenses of their castles long before the enemy was ever sighted. They used methods and strategies that had proven successful over many years in stopping an enemy from breaking into their fortification. Some of these strategies included the digging of moats around the castles base and raising a drawbridge thereby cutting off the enemies access into the castle. As fathers we need to create an environment of peace and safety for our family, we should ensure that all access points into our home are secure.

Improving Lines Of Sight: In the peaceful years between attacks the Rulers and Lords often cleared the surrounding forest thereby restricting the possibility of surprise attacks, as the enemy could be seen coming a long way off. Farsightedness and awareness is still useful today in our parenting role and it assists us to be prepared early enough to effectively protect our family.

Creating Alliances: Building relationships with other regional Lords and Rulers was advantageous as they could combine their forces together to defend successfully or even attack the enemy. Wise fathers realise that creating friendships with your neighbours is helpful in case you need backup or advice in any situation you may face. Being part of a local dad network has many advantages including multiplied insights and ideas on fathering.

Preparing Supplies Beforehand: One of the most effective ways to strengthen your ability to ward off an enemies attack in medieval times was to constantly have supplies laid up in storage in case of need. Food, water and weapons were set aside within the castle permanently and the supplies refreshed regularly. Often it might be those very reserves that gave you the victory as the enemy grew impatient and passed on to another region in search of easier pickings. As a father this could be realising that our financial position could change quickly if I’m made redundant at work etc. and setting some extra money aside for tough times.

Having a battle plan improves our ability to function in our role as a father and protector. It gives us the confidence we need to keep a cool head and make the right decisions in stressful situations. Life sometimes throws up surprises that come upon us like an attacking enemy, but being prepared beforehand gives us as fathers the best chance of arising victorious.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

http://dadsuni.com/be-part-of-a-local-dads-network.html

Planning For Each New Day

We are all given a certain amount of time on this earth to live and to make a difference in our sphere of influence. How well we manage the time given to us often determines whether our life has a positive or negative influence on those we meet along our journey. Like drivers on a busy motorway during the peak hour rush we can either be part of the problem or part of the solution.

Considerate drivers enter into the traffic stream  with a calm mind and a peaceful disposition, they understand and accept that during the daily commute to work there are sometimes delays, and they take this in their stride without becoming upset. When an opportunity to help another driver get ahead in the traffic line arises they are friendly and wave them through, realising that the way we treat each other along life’s journey is far more important than competing with others to get there first!

Preparation relieves stress and helps us to face each new day without the issue of ever-growing burdens weighing down on our shoulders.

The road rage driver has usually woken up late after forgetting to set their alarm clock, they run around madly trying to get dressed and have breakfast before they leave for work. They rush out the door and trip over the family dog, spilling much of the lifesaving coffee they are carrying. They then have to run back inside for a quick change of shirt and tie and finally jump into the car, only to realize that the petrol tank is nearly empty.

Consequently they are involved in a mad drive through the suburban streets to the local petrol station, where they perform a pit stop that would make even the professionals envious! The dash to work has now become a Formula 1 race to beat the clock, and every other driver a competitor to defeat. All they can think of are deadlines and angry bosses and this compels them to press down heavier upon the accelerator as they enter the traffic flow.

When an opportunity to help another driver get ahead in the traffic line arises they are friendly and wave them through, realising that the way we treat each other along life’s journey is far more important than competing with others to get there first!

The road rage driver and the considerate driver both have the same amount of hours each day to live, so a lack of time is not the real problem here. Often a major contributing factor in the life of the road rage driver is actually a failure to prepare adequately for the new day beforehand. Preparation relieves stress and helps us to face each new day without the issue of ever-growing burdens weighing down upon our shoulders.

Remembering to fill the car with petrol on the way home and ensuring that you rise early enough to have a good breakfast and enjoy the company of your family before embarking on each day brings the peace of fulfillment and perspective. After all, providing for our family is the real reason that we spend so many hours each week working to make a living. No one in life plans to fail, but many people fail to plan. Having a daily plan or routine takes much of the stress out of life and enables us as fathers to enjoy the life we have been given and the family we have been blessed with.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

http://dadsuni.com/goal-setting-for-families.html

Grabbing Hold Of Hope

Many times in life we arrive at places or find ourselves in circumstances that we wish were different, that we wish we could change. Whether it be a job that leaves us feeling dissatisfied or the boredom of doing the same old things continually, frustration comes to us all. Often at these times something arises in our hearts for just a fraction of a second that offers a potential way out, a light at the end of the tunnel. We see it in our hearts and feel the clarity it brings as it rises into our minds, a hope for better things to come.

 

When hope begins to arise in the human heart different people respond in different ways. Some people see the chance that hope brings, but immediately begin to consider all the reasons why it couldn’t happen, or wouldn’t happen to them and they change the image of hope in their heart to an image of failure and defeat.

Another person may find themself in a similar circumstance but respond quite differently when they see the chance that hope brings. They perceive that hope is not just a random thought floating through their mind, but that it comes with power and a sense of destiny attached to it. When the hope arrives in their heart and mind they grab hold of it firmly, like a man clinging to a life-preserver in the midst of a stormy sea. The more they hang onto it the firmer it becomes in their hands, and what began merely as potential begins to grow into an assurance that this can really happen.

The more they ponder and consider the hope that they have seen in their hearts the stronger the image and certainty grows inside them, that there is a way out, that better things can come into their life. I believe that often hope is not just a random thought, but is an encouraging message sent from a loving heavenly Father to his child. Hope shines a light upon the path that He knows will lead us out of our current circumstances and into a better future.

There is a scripture written by the Apostle Paul that reveals a powerful principle for life it states that “Hope is an anchor for the soul of man”. An anchor is a steadying influence for a ship upon the sea, it keeps it facing in the right direction even in troubled waters, and stops it from being wrecked upon the rocky shoreline.

So what are some practical steps we can take to ensure that we don’t lose the chance that hope brings?

• Don’t negate hope by believing the negatives that arise in your mind
• Realise that hope comes with power to bring itself to fulfilment
• Be patient and continue to believe in the hope in your heart
• Let the hope grow into a step by step plan to a better future
• Be brave enough to act on your plan when the right time comes

Hope may only come as a glimpse, a momentary vision in our hearts but if we continue to believe in that hope it will grow stronger and a plan will begin to form in our mind. Remember that you don’t need to see the whole road first before you step out on the new journey that hope brings, every journey begins with a single step in the right direction. Step out in faith knowing that the same One who inspired the hope in your heart will continue to lead you as you travel along the road.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

The Ingredients For Building A Home

I think it is important for every family to have a place that they call ‘home’. The word ‘home’ means more than just a house/apartment or a place to live, it has a deeper meaning than merely a physical structure. A ‘home’ has the added connotation of being a place of acceptance, a place of security and a place of peace.

A ‘home’ is a place that you look forward to returning to after a hard days work or a business trip, it’s a place that is inviting, where the doors are always open for family members and those we love.The ‘home’ lights shine brightly if we ever lose our way in life, it can be felt in our hearts and not just seen by our eyes. A ‘home’ is a place of relationship, where everyone knows you as you truly are, and where you don’t need the facades we use outside in the world.

But in truth many alive today did not grow up in a real ‘home’, they lived inside a house/apartment with their family but never felt the security, acceptance and peace that a ‘home’ brings. This sad reality is the world we live in, but although those affected may have missed out on much, they are not disqualified from building their own ‘home’ in the future.

The dreams we have as men often motivate us to achieve great things in life, and it is important that we follow them and build a better life for ourselves. But no matter how great our dream is in life, we will always need a solid foundation to build from and the best foundation in life is that of ‘family’ and ‘home’.

So what are the elements that we as men and fathers need to apply to ensure that we are building a ‘home’ and not merely living in a house/apartment? Some I have already mentioned but here is a short list of the things I personally have found helpful in building my ‘home’.

• Feeling Welcome: A ‘home’ is a welcoming place where all are glad to see you again and have missed you while you were away!
• A Place of Love: A ‘home’ is a place where you know you are loved unconditionally, and where those beautiful words ‘I love you’ are spoken often.
• A Place of Acceptance: A ‘home’ is a place where you feel accepted, where you are without doubt  ‘one of the team’ and you have a true sense of ‘belonging’ here.
• A Place of Appreciation: A ‘home’ is a place where all that we do is sincerely appreciated by the members of the family and not merely ‘expected’ by them.
• A Place of Involvement: A ‘home’ is a place where everyone values the family life we are building and are involved together in making it work.
• A Place of Truth: A ‘home’ is a place where family members love you enough to tell you the ‘truth’ about yourself even if we don’t always want to hear it!
• A Place of Security: A ‘home’ is a place where all feel secure and live without fear, and where all band together as one to defend it if it is ever required.
• A Place of Fun: A ‘home’ is a place that is filled with fun and enjoyment, where sometimes ‘crazy’ things happen and we get to share ‘our families’ uniqueness and humour.
• A Place of Peace: A ‘home’ is a place where you can just ‘chill out’ and relax and enjoy the soothing and restorative environment of peace

This is by no means a complete list, but it is a good start for those who share the dream of having a real ‘home’ and not merely a place to live. As fathers there is nothing more important than building a ‘home’ for our family, whether we own it outright or pay rent matters little for in truth a real ‘home’ is built by and for the ‘members of the family’ that live in it.

Warm Regards

John

Dadsuni

http://www.dadsuni.com

http://dadsuni.com/creating-an-environment-of-peace-in-the-home.html

 

Starting with the End in Mind

While travelling overseas in Asia I experienced a wide range of cultures and some amazing sights that will always stay with me. I tended to rely heavily upon the local tour guides or cab drivers to get me to where I wanted to go especially when we were crossing borders from one country to another, and entering places where I had little or no experience of the culture I was about to face.

Probably the most important thing I learned while travelling was the need to clearly articulate to the local tour guide or cab driver where I wanted to go, and then to periodically continue to check if we were indeed heading in the correct direction. I found it important to ensure that my directions had really been understood and not “lost in translation”, because experience has proven that if you don’t start off heading in the right direction there is a good chance you will not reach your desired destination.

“experience has proven that if you don’t start off heading in the right direction there is a good chance you will not reach your desired destination”

The same can be said for the direction we as fathers choose for our families, if we aren’t heading in the right direction today we may not reach our desired destination tomorrow. But how can we as fathers know the direction we should be leading our families? I’m glad you asked! I believe one of the most effective ways to clarify the direction we should be heading today is to start with the end in mind. 

By taking the time to consider clearly where we want our family to be in 10-20 years time, we can begin to clarify the type of family we need to build today. What are the things that are important to you as a man and leader of your home? By identifying the things that you value deeply you have already begun to define the type of future you are desiring for your family.

By identifying the things that you value deeply you have already begun to define the type of future you are desiring for your family

If you as a man value your health, your will lead your family in a healthy direction. If you value the benefits of a University education then you will teach your family to aspire to intellectual pursuits. If church life is important to you then you will impart your love for the church to your children. All of these areas, once identified in your own heart bring definition and clarity to the future destination of your family.

Alternately if you look at areas within your life and decide that they are not what you want for your family you can begin now to make the changes in lifestyle that will alter your future away from those areas. Each decision made brings the final destination a little clearer, a little more in focus. By checking periodically on the direction your family is currently headed you can ascertain whether or not you are getting closer to or further away from the destination you are desiring for them.

By starting with the end in mind we can begin our journey with confidence and by using wisdom we can make the desired corrections along the way that will ultimately bring us to our desired destination.

Warm Regards

John

Dads UNI

http://www.dadsuni.com

http://dadsuni.com/goal-setting-for-families.html